Monday, March 20, 2017

Making Out with Strangers, Maria Hirez, Sex Education - Lundgren Family Update #14


 Pulperias are stores, often tiny ones, that sell all sorts of things you might need in a pinch: ice, eggs, rice, beans, soda, hammocks, cheese, milk. They are like mini-marts, but usually operate out of someone’s house and so you get the bonus of buying your victuals while saying hi to grandma in the nearby rocking chair, “Buenos Dias, Abuela!”, or seeing a lone teenager at the back of the store working on their homework assignment in the fading afternoon light. On a recent run by Pulperia Stefany, a small beach-side shop not too far from our house, a serious logging procedure was underway. In fact, it was a de-logging operation as ten men were cutting down a tree that was growing out of the middle of Stefany. Who knows why the little market allowed a tree to remain in her midst for so long -perhaps the owners just liked trees - but clearly the time had come to cut it out. And so the men chopped, cut, pulled and lowered, using big tools and a lot of teamwork. Watching the activity going down that morning brought a thought to mind; we are sometimes like Stefany. Little things start to grow inside us, like tendencies, insecurities, anger, or fear. We let them grow because they’re small and we think we know how to manage them. But they get bigger and bigger, and soon grow through the roof, breaking things and shattering our sense of self in the process. But we continue to let them stay, because now removing them is a lot of hard work and energy, and besides, it requires the help of others - and we just don’t like to ask others for help. But imagine if we could live without the tree through our roof, the hole in our heart, or the pain in our soul. Imagine if we could enlist the help of friends, some sweat equity, and a lot of hard work, to uproot the trees that hold us back in life. Thanks for the lesson, Stefany.

Transitioning to a new environment can be hard. We recently spent almost two weeks at the beach near our house with some really awesome friends (Thanks Anthony’s, Mardi, Chris and Jen). They blessed the pants off us, pampered us, and cooked us really great food. We will never be able to thank them enough. But the beach environs were so different than our house in the village that at first the change was a bit jarring, but in a good way: “you mean there aren’t any tarantulas here, really?”, we said. “We don’t have to wash our laundry by hand?” “We’ll be eating more than just rice and beans, do you really mean it?” The whole experience was amazing, and perhaps there was only one element that reminded us of our village home. Cully and Miriam woke up on successive nights in their gorgeous bedroom overlooking the Pacific Ocean. They each heard some squeaking and scurrying, all too familiar sounds that could mean only one thing... Ratones!...but where? Confounded, they looked up at a star-lit shadow on the wall. If you’ve never seen it, the apparition of mice marching to the light of the night, when projected in just the right way, can be really scary, particularly because the tiny mice look like giant, man-eating rats. We never found the mice, just their shadows, but a plethora of poops on the porch confirmed it wasn’t a dream.

The reverse transition, from beautiful ocean-view to hot, dusty village life is also difficult. Upon returning from our stint at the beach we were welcomed by a slew of new friends that had taken up residence in various quiet corners, dark places, and hard to reach nooks in our house. We awoke a sizable scorpion when opening our kitchen window while we whacked another hiding underneath a suitcase in Harlan and Olle’s room. Miriam encountered a good size mouse near the suitcase scorpion, and not long after a large tarantula on the wall near our pee bucket. Some giant feces were also sitting on top of our mosquito net, an indication that the iguana we had previously seen under our roof was likely still there. Lots and lots of dust from two weeks of blowing wind needed to be swept out (we have found it’s hard to sweep dust with any efficacy when the wind is blowing), while cobwebs in our rafters and bugs in our clothes required removal. The considerable cleaning operation, plus the realization that we were back to a life full of wind and dust, and lacking in water, gave us a moment to consider our local friends and neighbors, who have to deal with these situations every day and every season.

PO Boxes are very useful when you are living overseas. In fact, since we’ve been here we’ve received all sorts of packages and goodies from friends and family back home, all addressed to: Familia Lundgren, Apartado 324, León, Nicaragua, Central America. Most boxes have actually arrived, albeit with travel times ranging from 1 ½ weeks to 2 months. Recently, that may have changed, at least for a moment, with the curious case of the disappearing post office. Last week on one of our weekly trips to León, Cully stopped by the post office to check on the latest arrivals. He was greeted by an almost entirely empty building only occupied by several women sweeping and washing the floors. It turns out the post office had up and moved without notice, pushed out by the rather angry owner of the premises who seemed miffed by the deterioration that had occurred to her rental property over the many years of occupancy by the PO. She kindly directed Cully to the new location, located 4 blocks east and 1 ½ blocks north, where Cully promptly encountered several rather disoriented looking workers, clearly out of place in the new, much tinier environs. The women who gives us our mail, known as the ‘package lady’ to the Lundgrens, was at the bank and noone knew when she would be back. Perhaps more disconcerting was that PO Box 324 was not among the wooden boxes that had been stacked rather haphazardly near the entrance. It seems that in the hurried move, 324 had gone on a walkabout and had yet to return. A second trip to the León PO by Familia Lundgren didn’t produce any better results, and we can only hope that someday soon, when ol’ 324 has had enough sightseeing, she’ll return to her new home.

Our chickens are growing up quickly, fueled by a daily diet of trigo (wheat seeds), cooked rice, insects and spiders. Our chickens are also getting tough, because they have to fight the dogs, other chickens, and our bunny, all whom try to eat their food every time we cast it on the ground near their coop. As they’ve grown, they’ve also taken to roosting on one of the three eucalyptus beams that span the top of our patio. In general the new beam-roosting technique is great, except when they choose the beam that sits above our mini dinner table (measuring 28 L x 18 W inches, and standing 2 feet high) as that inevitably results in playing musical-meal-chairs to avoid the intermittent droppings.

“That dog just peed on our clothes”, quipped Miriam one morning as a nearby dog sulked away after marking his property. “Was it Sally or Fuera?”, asked Cully. “No, it was one of Esteban’s dogs”, replied Harlan. “Then he’s going down”, said Cully, as he reached for his trusty slingshot, used to scare away a variety of animals, mostly dogs and nosy chickens, on a frequent basis. “No, I like that dog, he’s a good one”, said Harlan. “I don’t care who he is,” answered Cully, “he can’t be peeing on our clothes.” Harlan’s further imploring did little to deter Cully, who launched a piece of concrete in the dog’s general direction, missing wildly as usual and likely only emboldening the dog for future apparel peeing sessions.

We recently attended a mass at the local Catholic church, the fourth such service we’ve attended since we arrived. This one was the one year-out memorial service for Rosa, the wife of Mariano, our favorite driver of the green and white 6:55am bus from El Tololar to León. Memorial services are common here, and generally follow the same program: start 30 – 45 minutes late, women sit in pews while men stand idly in the rear, sermon that can’t be heard by the always sweaty priest, the casual appearance of bats, snakes or dogs in the sanctuary, and several worship songs with a somewhat out of place zydeco beat. This service was enhanced further by its occurrence in the middle of the dry, windy season, thus accompanied by loud, beam creaking gusts and waves of dust entering the church through the long, open windows on either side. Congregants generally dress to the hilt, even if it’s not on a Sunday, and it’s always surprising to see how people can look so beautiful and put together when their reality is dust, dust, dust. At the end of the service, it is customary to go up front and pass on condolences to the family members. Our good friends Kelly and Imran Arshad from Canada were visiting us at the time, and several of us walked up front to pay our respects to Rosa. Nicaraguans are so gentle, kind, and accepting that it seemed totally normal for us to walk past a line of nine sitting women who we didn’t know while hugging and kissing each one on the cheek. They accepted the actions of strangers, even if we weren’t necessarily following local protocol, genuinely receiving our awkward embraces and ill-timed kisses in a mutual gesture of humanity and connection. They made us feel a part of their community.

But sometimes, especially when you’re meeting Donia Maria Hirez for the first time, hugs aren’t met with quite so much openness. Cully and his amigo Imran (from Canada) had dropped the kids and wives off at Rebekah Rivas elementary school, where the Lundgren and Arshad children were attending school one Monday morning. They walked to a nearby, somewhat dilapidated house where 97-year old Maria Hirez was said to live. In fact the Lundgrens had passed by her house previously but only her son had been home. For some reason, he reminded Cully of his own cousin Randy, who lives far away in Vermont. You know how that happens sometimes? Two people, from totally different contexts and worlds, remind you of each other? Sometimes it’s because of their looks, but it’s more often because of their souls. Randy has a really good soul, and so did Maria’s son.

This time, Maria was at home, sitting in a chair with a walker in front of her. Her son (never did get his name, we’ll call him Antonio) ushered us in, and Cully quickly walked over to Senorita Hirez. After the church hugging/kissing experience from a few days before, he felt confident that giving a big hug and smooch at first greeting was the way to go. But upon leaning in, Maria pushed away and was having none of it. She quickly explained that it was not her custom, partly because she didn’t grow up that way, but also because she was mostly blind (cataracts) and couldn’t see who was this embracing/smacking stranger. After the initial shock Maria warmed to us, especially to Imran, who she asked to repeat her name at least four separate times. Imran has always been good at languages and even though he had been in Nicaragua for less than a week, his vocalization of Maria Hirez clearly rolled of his tongue and pleased Maria, who kept saying that Imran’s pronunciation was far superior to Cully’s. Antonio confirmed the high caliber of Imran’s Spanish, as did her nephew Santos, who was sitting off to the side, chain-smoking and drinking a local moonshine at 10am in the morning. They talked for a good twenty minutes, with Maria either reminiscing about the good old days or dismissing Santos with a wave of her cane every time he made an inebriated wisecrack. The conversation then shifted to the actual purpose of their visit….jicaro carvings. Until her eyesight had deteriorated sharply over the past couple years, Maria had been an exquisite carver and artist of jicaro, a strange, hard, green fruit that can’t be eaten but can look absolutely beautiful as a bowl, a cup, a spoon, or even a Christmas ornament. Maria asked Antonio to open up several bags of her past work, scattering the now dusty but ornately carved tableware, each piece replete with intricately etched lines, leaves and flowers. Before we left, Maria felt the need to show us how she worked and despite Antonio’s reticence, he set her up with a freshly picked jicaro fruit, a file and a machete. Watching a nearly blind, 97-year old woman work a piece of fruit on her lap with a dull blade and shaking hands is scary stuff, but Maria worked it like a boss, demonstrating her still in-tact artistic skills by engraving a beautiful flor and hoja on the fruits’ side. She erupted into tears several times, generally when speaking about her grandson who never visited her or her husband who had died four years earlier. She always ended with the phrase, “But thanks be to God.” Imran purchased some of her art, she threw in a few spoons as gifts, and we left to her saying thank you and reciting the phrase, “It’s just me, a 97-year old woman and my four frijoles.” We never quite caught the significance of her four beans...

Our awesome friend Tyler, Exec. Director of Tololamos, once taught sex ed. Classes here at the local secondary school. Way to go Tyler. Our boys are learning more about the birds and the bees, through a Wild Kingdom (remember that show?)-type methodology. It’s not part of the curriculum Miriam is teaching them for school, but Harlan and Olle are nonetheless taking class, daily. Chickens and Roosters have been the most consistent teachers, supported by the occasional cow or horse coupling, but recently dogs have stole the show, thanks largely to Adilsa’s dog Sally going into heat. Not less than five local guy dogs have begun to seek out Sally, with Fuera (her best friend) even receiving a name change in the process. Sorry humpy! Poor Sally spends most of her time running away, but because she is such a people-dog and always hanging out near us, we often have to shift our views during conversations with family members. Adilsa even rolled her eyes during a recent meeting, noting that freshly-monikered humpy was in definitely in love, but that Sally clearly wasn’t.

The visit by Imran, Kelley, Sage, Xavier and Jai Arshad has marked the fifth group of people that have visited us from North America since we’ve been here (Miriam’s parents, The Anthony Family, DeLeonardis’s, Mardi Fuller, and The Arshads). One of our goals when we came was to share our story and the community of El Tololar with our friends and families back home. This blog is one vehicle, and visits by family and friends is another. Each person that has visited us has been a huge blessing in their own way, sharing themselves and seeing the hearts of the people that we love here. Thank you all so much, and thanks to each and every one of you who is following our journey. Sometimes, many times, we feel like you are here with us, sharing a plate of rice and beans.





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